What Women Want

Hey Sexpert,

I am no good at writing letters but I wanted to give this a try :)

I have a problem - I really cant talk to women... I don’t know why they don’t find me attractive and mostly they just want to be my friend, nothing more... can you help me ?

Signed,

Forever in the Friend Zone

Dear Friend,

What you are really asking me is, "What do women want?"  and that darling, is a centuries old mystery that not even women have been able to successfully answer.

There is one thing, I have to say, is the number one most attractive quality that either sex can possess.  CONFIDENCE!  This means even when speaking to a woman you feel is "out of your league," or a perfect 10, it is important to not appear intimidated.  Treat everyone you cross paths with like they are on the same level as you and you will have have mastered the art of appearing confident. 

Now, to actually feel confident you must remind yourself to not place the object of your desire on a pedestal.  She might be gorgeous, smart, successful, and funny... but she will have no respect for someone who kisses her ass constantly.  Her perfect mate is someone willing to challenge her and treat her as an equal.  Remember that we all have different strengths.  Stay away from the comparison game.  Talking about how much better or worse one of you is at this or that is never a turn on.  If you think she's amazing, let her know, but never talk about how much better she is than you.  This will plant the seed in her mind that you are not good enough for her.   She will be good at some things but so are you.  Let her know what your passions are without bragging.

Now about how to talk to women...  Don't use a pick up line.  Ever.  They don't work.  Remember that beautiful women are used to getting hit on and we are pretty much immune to it by the time we are adults.  Its better to ask about her opinions... draw inspiration from the environment.  At a bar?  Ask about her favorite cocktail.  Out for dinner?  Discuss favorite food dishes and what you like to cook.  At the gym?  I could go on... If you wish to pay her a compliment make sure it is genuine.  She will be able to tell the difference between that and a "line" and it will take you a long way.

Also, don't stress about singlehood!  More people are single nowadays than ever before! Research tells us that single people spend more time with friends and family than their married counterparts. They spend more money in local establishments, and even do more charity and volunteer work! This means married people are far less social.  More than a quarter of Americans now live alone, and that number is rising along with the age of marriage.  Make the best of this time by investing it in yourself.  

Best of luck,

- The Sexpert